Absdicate: to give up on exercise
Abjectivity: the ability to see things as they truly are
Academia: a deficiency of sense
Acadamnesia: refusal to take notes
Acrumbatic: a tidy eater
Adhockey: à la putt
Agraculture: making a bad situation worse
Agriphobia: fear of food
Ambleance: a slow emergency vehicle
Amfibulous: prone to lies
Arythmetic: no sense of timing
Asperoid: aimless wanderer
Autocrap: a bad dictator
Barbituate: tall thin blond with degree
Basturd: a real shit
Beleave: to abandon reality
Blackholism: politically correct nihilism
Burroughcat: professional go-fer
Buttress: a bustle
Carbaration: dietary bookkeeping
Catstration: fixation
Chicanery: Caribbean furniture
Clamor: molluscular love
Clandestiny: the tendency to be sidelined
Coargulation: debate
Condissention: disagreeing with everyone
Conflatulation: insincere compliment
Confusscation: much ado about nothing
Conglammorate: gone to the ladies’ room
Congradualization: what took you so long?
Constipatience: long on the toilet
Cordial: drink made from fermented string
Cornflakration: nothing in the cupboard but breakfast cereal
Corredespondence: discouraging news
Costic: fatally expensive
Crapology: a bad excuse
Crapsicle: frozen turd
Craptitude: ability to do poorly
Crapulence: abundance of schlock
Creamatorium: a cow
Creduless: cut off by the bank
Cretinaceous: era when idiots ruled
Crossword: an angry outburst
Damnation: an activity of beavers
Deadication: ceremony after burial
Deligent: a sophisticated food shopper
Descartography: philosophy of maps
Diognastician: a bringer of bad news
Dismay: year with 11 months
Dogmatic: a robot pet
Downing #10: British perfume
Dysturbanism: traffic noise
Elips: digital mouth
Enemia: trouble getting along
Exhaustion: death by tailpipe
Exxonerate: evade liability
Factitious: delightfully informative
Falsom: full of it
Fanity: popularity
Farticulate: to express oneself anally
Fartitude: strength of odour
Farty: flatulators celebrating
Fastenation: stick-to-itiveness
Felicity: a large town for cats
Fig Newton: an antigravity cookie
Flatulence: a plane in the ass
Flabbergasted: unable to lose weight
Fognosis: a very uncertain outcome
Follytician: political leader
Formication: how ants do it
Frogress: when the princess turns into a frog
Genuflex: to stretch the truth
Glab: unjustifiably cheerful
Godderel: trite hymns
Goofracious: prone to hilarity
Gorgeous: prone to binging
Graftitude: thanks for illegal services rendered
Grampy: old and cantankerous
Grindiose: too much coffee
Groundiose: unable to fly
Growtusk: a serious dental problem
Grueling: a stage of infancy
Harmacy: dispensary for bad drugs
Helography: map of the lower depths
Haploid: accident prone
Herm: gender neutral pronoun
Himn: praise to the Father
Honky: an impetuous driver
Hornia: rupture from too much sex
Horribilia: gothic kitsch
Huft: the size of a really deep breath
Hurticulture: deliberate maliciousness
Hypathetical: exceedingly piteous
Hypnocritic oath: any pledge of allegiance
Iambic parameter: a measure of existence
Incongruous: the American parliament
Incorgyable: ineligible to be Queen
Incutable: ugly
Indiginous: without fingers
Indigrestion: a sticking point
Infamished: unknown
Insex: opposite of outsex
Inupt: in over your head
Irreverend: an avid non-believer
Jockular: muscle-bound
Kantdenkerous: prone to philosophize
Lactation: fresh water swimming
Largess: bignitude
Leibschnitzel: breaded philosopher
Lassitude: effeminacy
Lumptitude: laziness
Macademia: where the professors are nuts
Magnafucation: prolific sex
Malicious: tasty but bad for you
Manic: crazy for men
Mathmactitude: precision
Mistermeaner: a bad guy
Nobodomy: death
Neckless: a bracelet
Neoplutonism: revival of the ninth planet
Neuterant: low food-value
No’bility: can’t-do
Nocturnal remission: getting back to sleep
Nomanclutcher: a lesbian
Obstrepreposterous: silly squared
Obtooth: dental emergency
Octopus: an eight-legged cat
Orgynize: really get things going
Origonal: the very first polygon
Ornrithology: the study of difficult birds
Outgroining: getting too big for your britches
Parafemalia: makeup and jewelry
Parcipitation: getting your hands wet
Pastime: expiry date
Pedantrick: cure for academia
Pedifile: a nail clipper
Penal code: gentlemanly behavior
Perpedickular: erect
Phallocene: the era of rule by men
Philososlur: a thinking drinker
Planetude: abundance of habitable worlds
Plattertude: love of vinyl
Poorification: economic entropy
Porgraphony: bad penmanship
Practicle: an atom of common sense
Predention: brushing your teeth
Prolaps: cuddly
Prolipic: inclined to kiss
Quastity: the ability of something to be whatever you want it to be
Radioactive: frequently tuned in
Ramification: frontal attack
Rebuttal: head banging
Rectaltude: rigidity
Rectitube: a laxative
Redundunce: one idiot too many
Relentrification: winding down
Renoun: redundant part of speech
Reverberation: another redundant part of speech
Roamantic: a serial lover
Sanserity: emptiness
Scrapture: religious graffiti
Scurriless: slow
Sendimental: telepathic
Sequester: the following semester
Sexpod: any six-legged creature
Sheroics: feminine bravado
Shurds: ancient baked turds
Sintax: penalty for misbehaviour
Skiptic: a stutterer
Slututation: an irreverent form of address
Sortified: correctly organized
Stiltify: stretch the legs
Strump: to carry on like you-know-who
Suck: past tense of sick
Surroyal: of or pertaining to the monarchy
Trumperance: political sobriety
Trumpette: a supporter of you-know-who
Turdgid: hard and shitty
Underrider: a horse
Youthfemism: preference for younger women
Zane: opposite of inzane
Zenophobia: fear of philosophy